If you have been falsely accused of domestic violence, there are things that you can do to mitigate the damage and clear your name. Several legal defenses are available that can undermine the accusations and show that you are innocent. Additionally, there are several things to avoid doing, as they typically make matters worse.
What to do after being falsely accused of domestic violence
If you have been accused of domestic violence and you know that the allegations are made up, you should strongly consider:
- hiring a criminal defense attorney to invoke your legal rights,
- gathering evidence that either shows the allegations are fabricated or that supports your side of the story,
- writing down everything you can remember about the alleged incident before your memory fades,
- changing the login information for all of the accounts that are in your name, including your banking accounts and social media profiles,
- making alternative living arrangements,
- talking to friends or family members about being a character witness for you, should the need arise,
- taking extra steps to care for your children, as making a parenting mistake at this point could jeopardize your custody rights, and
- staying calm and avoiding sudden or rash decisions.
If a court issues a restraining order, be sure to follow it. This can be difficult, especially if the accuser tries to get you into a situation where it would be violated. If they offer to meet with you in a way that would violate the protective order, do not go to the meeting. Instead, keep a record of their request to meet. It can be used as evidence that the accuser:
- does not actually fear you, and
- is trying to manipulate the restraining order to make you suffer.
This evidence can be used to prove that the underlying allegations of domestic violence are a lie.
What not to do
There are several things that people often do after being falsely accused of domestic violence that hurt them in the long run. These include:
- confronting your accuser and trying to get them to recant their accusation,
- deleting evidence,
- interacting with your accuser,
- violating a restraining order,
- changing your story in an attempt to sound more persuasive, and
- acting impulsively or emotionally.
If you must interact with your accuser, do it in public and with a close friend or your lawyer. Make sure that the interaction would not violate the restraining order, if one has been issued. The criminal defense lawyers at our law firm, however, have found that a wiser course of action is to communicate in writing instead of in person. This leaves a paper trail of what is said.
Above all else, do not violate a restraining order. This is a criminal offense. It is generally a misdemeanor.[1]
When false domestic violence accusations commonly occur
People tend to make fake claims that they have been the victim of domestic violence when doing so is to their advantage. The most common times for them to be made are:
- during divorce proceedings,
- right before a child custody hearing,
- right after a breakup, and
- immediately following a rocky juncture in your relationship, such as after a discovery of infidelity.
The domestic violence defense attorneys at our law office have found that a popular time to make these allegations is right before a child custody or divorce hearing. By timing their false accusation in this way, your accuser can tarnish your reputation and leave you no time to clear it before the hearing.
Why people make them
There are several reasons why people choose to lie and claim that they were abused. Some of the most common are:
- to get leverage in a child custody or divorce proceeding,
- retaliation,
- jealousy,
- to ruin your reputation,
- they are emotionally unstable,
- to get attention or sympathy,
- they are suffering from mental health problems, and
- a misunderstanding of what domestic violence entails.
Unfortunately, these false accusations are not unheard of. According to the Coalition to End Domestic Violence:
“A new national survey reveals 10 percent of Americans report they have ever been falsely accused of domestic violence.”[2]
Consequences of a domestic violence allegation
The mere allegation of committing domestic violence comes with some severe consequences. False allegations can make you suffer in the following ways:
- social stigmatization,
- loss of friends,
- family or friends that harbor doubts about your character or see you differently,
- the embarrassment of an arrest,
- job loss and limited employment opportunities from your criminal record,
- some jail time, particularly if charges are filed and you cannot post bail,
- a criminal record with an arrest on it, and
- child custody issues.
This can all happen from false allegations of domestic abuse. Even if you are able to show that the allegations are false, people may still believe your accuser.
If you do not defend against the allegations, they can lead to criminal charges being filed. If you do not adequately defend against those, you may end up getting convicted and going to jail.
How to prevent false allegations of domestic violence from being made
The best way to avoid the consequences of a fake domestic violence allegation is to avoid the situation where it is made. This is extremely difficult, though. If you are in a relationship with someone who has a history of lashing out when things do not go their way, though, false allegations of domestic violence can be foreseeable. To avoid them, or to mitigate the damage that they cause, you can:
- keep the login information to sensitive accounts and devices, such as your phone, to yourself, and
- telling trusted friends or family members about your concerns.
Protecting yourself is critical. Our criminal defense lawyers have handled domestic violence cases where the alleged victim accessed the defendant’s phone and sent incriminating text messages to their own phone in order to make it seem as if they were being abused.
Legal defenses to a domestic violence charge
If you have already been accused of domestic violence and charged with a crime, there are 3 strong defense strategies that our domestic violence lawyers typically use. They are:
- showing that the allegations are fake,
- you could not have committed the domestic violence because you were not where it allegedly happened, also known as the alibi defense, and
- something else caused your accuser’s injuries.
Some cases involve multiple defense strategies. Getting legal representation is the best way to decide what to do in your criminal case.
False allegations
The most common defense is to present evidence that your accuser is making false accusations. That evidence can be:
- circumstantial evidence that shows your accuser had something to gain by making the false allegations,
- your accuser has a history of lying, making false claims, or acting erratically to get their way,
- prior statements made by your accuser that show their intent to use the criminal justice system, the legal process, and law enforcement to inflict pain on you, or
- your accuser’s story has changed.
The goal is to show that your accuser should not be believed.
Alibi
Evidence that you were not where the alleged abuse took place can undermine your accuser’s claim. This can come in the form of:
- testimony from the person or people you were actually with at the time of the purported abuse, or
- non-testimonial evidence, like security camera footage or a receipt from a store, that shows you were somewhere else.
Injuries caused by something else
Many people who falsely claim to be abused by their partner use injuries that they actually suffered to back up their claim. If you can show how they actually got those injuries, it can undercut their claim that you were responsible for them.
For example: Zoe claims that her partner, Abby, broke her nose in a fight. Abby’s lawyer gets surveillance footage from the restaurant where Zoe works. It shows Zoe breaking her nose when a coworker opened the kitchen door into her face.
Potential consequences for accusers
People who falsely claim they were the victim of domestic abuse can face serious negative consequences for lying. The two most common are:
- a criminal charge for abusing the legal system by knowingly filing a false police report, and
- a civil lawsuit for defamation.
Legal Citations:
[1] See, for example, California Penal Code 273.6 PC.
[2] Press Release, “Survey: One in 10 Falsely Accused of Abuse. Women Usually the Accusers, Men Most Often the Targets,” CEDV (Feb. 27, 2023).
